Shamwari dzechokwadi dzangani dzine munhu wepakati muhupenyu?
Vangani vaunoda iwe chero nguva yakapihwa kuti ufare?
Iko hakuna mhinduro yakatwasuka kumibvunzo iyoyo.
Zvimwe wakambonzwa kuti iri zana nemakumi mashanu (ndiyo nhamba yaDunbar yatichakurukura munguva pfupi), kana imwewo mari…
… Asi iyi haisi mhinduro inogutsa zvachose.
Ichokwadi ndechekuti, huwandu hweshamwari dzaunoda iwe izvozvi uye mukati mehupenyu hwako hwese ihama shamwari dzaunogutsikana nadzo.
Chii chakakwanira iwe unogona kunge uri mushoma kana kuwanda kune mumwe munhu.
Uye iyo 'yakakwana' nhamba inogona kuchinja zvichienderana nedanho ripi rehupenyu rauri mairi.
Kana iwe uchinetseka kuti hauna shamwari dzakawanda sezvaunofanirwa, zvibvunze kana ichi chiri chechokwadi kunetsekana kunoenderana kusurukirwa kana nekuti iwe unotenda - kana kuudzwa - kuti unoda zvimwe.
Vanhu vanogona kurarama hupenyu hunofadza uye hune runyararo nedenderedzwa diki kwazvo remukati.
Uye vanhu vanogona kurarama hupenyu husina mufaro kunyangwe hazvo denderedzwa hombe kwazvo.
Saka ngatitsvakei zvakadzama zvishoma kuti tione kuti vangani shamwari iri nhamba chaiyo kwauri.
Nhamba yaDunbar
Mushure mekudzidza saizi yehuropi hwemunhu muma1990, chiremba wezvevanhu Dr. Robin Dunbar akagumisa kuti pane muganho pahuwandu hwevanhu vatinogona kuchengetedza hukama hunogarisana nevanhu.
Iyo nhamba ndeye 148, kunyange ichiwanzo kukomberedzwa kusvika zana nemakumi mashanu kuti zvive nyore.
Izwi rakakosha apa ndere zvine musoro.
Iwe unogona kuziva mazita nezviso zvevanhu vazhinji kupfuura izvi, asi hazviite kuti iwe uchave mune chero kusangana chaiko nevazhinji vavo.
Asi Dunbar kubva ipapo yaenda kumberi kuti iongorore kuti kushushikana kwepamoyo kunokanganisa sei nzira yatingaronga nayo iwo mazana mashanu ekubatana.
Anokurudzira kuti iwe ungangove usina vanhu vanopfuura vashanu munzvimbo yako yakakosha yepamusoro - chako chemukati chekushamwaridzana.
Zvichienderana nezvaunenge uri muhupenyu hwako, iyi dura inogona kunge yakaumbwa nevabereki, vanun'una, mudiwa, kana shamwari dzepedyo.
Iwe unogona ipapo kuve nekuwedzera kune gumi ehukama hwepedyo vaunoona nguva dzose uye vaunokoshesa. Izvi zvinogona kuva shamwari dzakanaka kana nhengo dzemhuri.
Chikamu chinotevera pasi chine vanhu makumi matatu nevashanu vaunogara uchitaurirana navo uye ungafungire kukoka kuchiitiko chakakosha senge rako rekuzvarwa.
Uyezve kune vanhu zana vaunoziva zvakanyatsonaka, asi vaunogona kusaona zvakawandisa.
Dunbar nevamwe vake vakaferefeta kurongeka kwenhamba idzi vachishandisa nzira dzakasiyana siyana uye vanoita kunge vachirongedza paavhareji.
zvekuita kana mumwe munhu akatsamwa newe
Asi heuno muganho kuNhamba yaDunbar: chakanakirei avhareji nhamba kana munhu akaita sewe achibvunza kuti vangani shamwari dzaanoda?
Saka pane chero kukosha muzvikamu izvi?
Hungu, hongu.
Izvo zvinonyanya kukosha ndeaya maviri ekutanga akaturikidzana: yako yemukati tsvene uye shamwari dzako dzepedyo.
Ava vanhu gumi nevashanu ndivo vanozokupa iwe hwakawanda hupfumi hwepamoyo hwaunoda chaizvo muhupenyu.
Kune akasiyana akasiyana uye mumamiriro akasiyana, vanhu ava vanokuunzira iwe kunzwa kukuru kwekubatana uye mukana mukuru wekufara.
Ava ndivo vanhu vauchatendeukira kwavari kutsigirwa uye kunyaradzwa paunenge uchizvida.
Ivo ndeavo vanonyatso kureva chinhu kwauri.
Asi sezvo isu tave kuda kuongorora, nhamba iyi inogona kuve inopfuura inodikanwa nevamwe vanhu uye shoma pane ingadiwe nevamwe.
Hunhu Hwako Type Nyaya
Vamwe vanhu vanofarira rugare nerunyararo.
Vamwe vanobudirira pakati pemhirizhonga.
Vamwe vanhu vanogutsikana kungogara nekuve.
Vamwe vanofanirwa kugara vachiita chimwe chinhu.
Vamwe vanhu vanofarira one on one time neavo vepedyo navo.
Vamwe vanosarudza kuunganidza munhu wese kuungana kukuru.
Nepo kuri kuwedzererwa, tinogona kusiyanisa vanhu ava se introver uye vanokakavara.
Uye huwandu hwehukama hwemhando mbiri idzi hunhu hunoda mune yega yega yavo Dunbar Layers ingangosiyana.
Introverts vanogona kunge vachifara zvakakwana nemunhu mumwe chete kana vaviri mune yavo yepamusoro, inonyanya kukosha dura.
Vanokanganisa vanogona kuda mashanu kana matanhatu.
Uye mune yega yega yezvikamu zvinotevera, ma introverts anogona kugutsikana neshamwari shoma pane zvinoratidzwa naDunbar, nepo extroverts vangatotambanudza iyo miganhu.
Pane yakatambanuka dura, uko Dunbar inoona yakatenderedza vanhu zana paavhareji, inogona kunyanya kutsamira pane zvinovaraidza kana zvishuwo zvine munhu.
Yako stereotypical introvert inogona kusarudza kushandisa yavo nguva kuverenga kana kurima gadheni, semuenzaniso, nepo extroverts inogona kunge iri chikamu chezvemitambo timu iyo inongounza yega yakazara yekubatana.
Saizvozvo, sarudzo yebasa yemhando dzakasiyana hunhu inogona kukanganisa kukura kwakaita denderedzwa ravo.
Anoturikidzana anogona kutsvaga chinzvimbo pakati peboka hombe, pamwe mukutengesa kana kushambadzira kwavanopedza nguva yakawanda vachitaurirana nevamwe vavo nevatengi.
Introverts vanogona kusarudza kushanda sevashandisi vevashandi vega, kusvika pakuziva vatengi vavo, hongu, asi kudyidzana nevanhu vashoma zvavo.
Kunyangwe iwe uri wekutanga kana extrovert handiyo yega hunhu hunhu hunogona kuuya mukutamba nekureba kwenzvimbo dzako dzehukama dzinoenda.
Kuvhura pfungwa , charisma, kunzwira tsitsi, kutendeseka… izvi zvimwe zvezvishoma zvinozokanganisa vanhu vangani vaunokwezva muhupenyu hwako.
Kunyange matauriro aunoita nezvako uye kugona kwako ku ramba uchitaura ichaita chikamu mune vanhu vangani vanozopedzisira mune yega yega dzakasiyana materu ehukama hwepedyo.
Unogona zvakare kuda (chinyorwa chinoenderera pazasi):
- 10 Nzira dzeKuti Shamwari Dzako Dzepedyo Kupfuura Yakaitika Kare
- Handina Shamwari… Chii Chandingaite Kuti Nditsvage Vamwe?
- 'Sei Vanhu Vasingandide?' - 9 Zvikonzero Vanhu Vasingade Kuita Shamwari Yako
- 16 Zvinhu Zvinonakidza Zvekuita Neshamwari Yako Yepamoyo
- 7 Zvimwe Zvimwe Zvekuita Zvemagariro Kune Vaya Vasina Shamwari dzepedyo
Uri Kupi Muhupenyu Hwako?
Shamwari ngani dzaunoda kana dzaunoda muhupenyu hwako dzinozochinja zvichienderana nedanho rehupenyu rauri.
Vana vadiki vane amai, baba, uye pamwe vakoma kana hanzvadzi mudenderedzwa ravo remukati.
Kunyangwe ivo vaine mamwe madenderedzwa emhuri yavo yakafara uye vamwe vana kukireshi, aya madiki uye danho rekuswedera padhuze riri shoma pane revakuru.
Sezvo vana vanokura, denderedzwa ravo remukati rinogona kusanganisira shamwari yepamoyo, nepo mamwe matanda achiwedzera pavanosangana nevanhu vazhinji kuburikidza nechikoro uye zvekutandarira.
Chikamu chavo chechipiri chevanhu gumi chinogona kuchinja nguva dzose uye vanoisa kukosha kwakanyanya pane vanhu ava kupfuura pavaive vadiki.
Zvekukura kwechidiki ndezve patinenge tiine hukuru hwemagariro ehupenyu hwedu (zvirinani, mune zvine musoro mazwi).
Yechikoro chekare kana yekoreji shamwari dzinogona kunge dzichiri chakakosha chikamu chehupenyu, nepo vamwe vaunoshanda navo vachijoinha bato iwe paunopinda munyika yebasa.
Ipapo nzira inononoka yekuchekerera munharaunda ichatanga.
Nguva yako yemahara painodzikira, kumwe kubatana kuripo kunopera uye vanhu ivavo vanogona kubva kune imwe Dunbar Layer kuenda kune yakaderera.
Pamwe iwe wakanangana nebasa zvakanyanya.
Pamwe unogadzikana kuita kuzvipira hukama uye kutotanga mhuri.
mangani mafaro kusvika iwe uchidanana
Unogona kuzoonazve hukama nevabereki vako hwakadzikira mukati mekuyaruka uye pakuva munhu mukuru.
Iwe unotsauka kure neshamwari, vanhu vanoenda kure, hupenyu hunoitika.
Kazhinji, nenguva iyo yaunosvika makore ako epakati, huwandu hwevanhu vari pazasi eDunbar Layers vanogona kudzikira.
Iwe une vashoma shamwari dzepedyo, vashoma shamwari dzakanaka, uye vashoma vaunoziva.
Uye panguva yaunosvika pakukwegura kwako, pane mukana wakasimba wekuti ungadai wakatsauka kubva kushamwari zhinji mumakore apfuura.
Uye zvakadaro, kunyangwe hazvo nhamba yedu yeshamwari iri kudzikira patinokwegura, vanhu vakuru vanofara kupfuura vamwe vavo vadiki.
Sezvo iyi TED hurukuro anotsanangura:
Sezvatinokwegura […] Tinoisa mari muzvikamu zvakakosha zvehupenyu, uye hupenyu hunova nani, saka tiri kufara zuva nezuva.
Nepo hurukuro iyi yeTED isingataure nezvayo chaizvo, imwe mhedziso yaunogona kutora ndeyekuti patinokura, tinoisa mari yakawanda muhukama hwakakosha kwatiri.
Mushure mezvose, chii chingave chakakosha zvakanyanya pamoyo kupfuura vanhu vatinoda uye vatinotarisira?
Izvi zvinotidzosera kune iwo akakosha epamusoro maviri ezvikamu zveDunbar.
Aya mapoka evanhu, avo vari kure zvakanyanya kukosha vanhu muhupenyu hwedu kana isu tiri vana, zvakare vanokura mukukosha.
Chidzidzo chedu isu vamwe ndechekuti isu tinofanirwa kucherechedza zvakanyanya kune mashoma mashoma ehukama hwepedyo kupfuura huwandu hukuru hwehukama hwakawandisa.
Kuenderera Mberi Shift Mune Shamwari
Sezvatakataridza kare, vanhu chaivo mune yega yega yehukama matete ako angangochinja nekufamba kwenguva.
Kunyangwe iwo maratidziro emukati mako masarum anogona kuchinja, kunyanya patinokwegura uye kurasikirwa nezvizvarwa zvakauya pamberi pedu.
Uye nekuenderera pasi iwe paunopfuura nemumatanho, iko kuchinja kwakawanda kwaungaone.
Izvi zvinodzoka kumatanho ehupenyu matanho iwe auri uye ndeapi ako chaiwo mamiriro ari.
Pamwe iwe unofambisa chinhambwe chakakura kubva kune yako yazvino shamwari. Izvi zvinodzivirira kumwe kuwirirana uku uchimanikidza iwe kuti uite zvitsva.
Idzi shamwari nyowani dzinogona kutanga mune yepazasi chikamu chekushushikana kwepamoyo uye kusimuka kumusoro sezvavanokura mukukosha muhupenyu hwako.
Kana kuti pamwe une vana uye unovaka hukama hutsva nevamwe amai navanababa.
Nekuda kwechisungo chakagovaniswa chauinacho pamusoro pevana vako uye nenguva yaungapedze pamwe chete, vanhu ava vanogona kukurumidza kuve vepakati muhupenyu hwako.
Basa idzva rinoreva shamwari nyowani dzekubasa uye, kazhinji kazhinji, chinjana cheavo kubva kune wako wawakamboshandira kubva kumusoro kusvika kumatanho epasi.
Saka, iwe unoona, pane kuenderera mberi kunoenderera mune zvako hushamwari zvido.
Mhedzisiro Yemagariro Midhiya
Nyika yedhijitari yakashandura matangiro atinoita isu kutsanangura shamwari.
Kubva kuTwitter kuenda kuFacebook kuenda ku Instagram uye kune chero chii chiri kuuya, isu ikozvino taunganidza 'shamwari' nyowani kana 'vateveri' padanho reindasitiri.
Izvi zvinounza matambudziko maviri maererano nekuti ingani shamwari dzatinofunga kuti tinofanirwa kuve nadzo:
1. Tinogona kuona kuti vamwe vanhu vane shamwari ngani. Kana tine shamwari shoma, zvinogona kutiita kuti tinzwe setisingadiwe.
2. Isu tinotarisa kune shamwari ngani dzatinadzo uye kuti vangani vanhu ivavo vatinonyatsoshandisa chero yakakosha nguva navo uye tinonetseka kuti vamwe vanhu vanogamuchira hushamwari hwedu mudhijitari, asi havadi kuva shamwari dzedu munyika chaidzo. .
Zvemagariro enhau zvinonyengera pfungwa dzedu kuti titende kuti isu tiri padyo nevanhu ava kupfuura zvatiri chaizvo.
Isu tinoona zvavandudzwa uye mapikicha uye izvi zvinotipa hwindo muhupenyu hwavo.
Tinofunga kuti tinovaziva.
Asi isu hatidaro. Kwete saizvozvo.
Vazhinji vevanhu vatakabatana navo pasocial media vangori mazita uye zviso kwatiri.
Vanogona kunge vasina kumbobvira vanyanyisa kudarika izvozvo, hongu. Asi vangangodaro vakambotora chimwe chezvinhu zvakakosha zvehukama hwedu.
Chatinofanira kurangarira ndechekuti tinowana huwandu hwakawanda hwehupenyu hwedu hwepamoyo pakati peboka diki riri pamusoro piramidhi redu reshamwari.
Uye kuti vazhinji vedu veshamwari vedu vari kure zvakanyanya maererano nehukama hwepamoyo, zvekuti havafi vakatarisirwa seshamwari zvachose.
Saka hatifanire kutendera tarisiro yedu kudzungaira zvakanyanya uye kutenda kuti vanhu ava vanokwanisa kupa rudzi rwehukama hwevanhu hwatinoshuvira.
Kudzokera KuMweya Kuswedera
Muchinyorwa chino, takapokana kuti nhamba yaDunbar sevhareji ine kukosha kudiki kune mumwe munhu.
Iko kwatakabvumirana naDunbar kuri mune iyo pfungwa yekuti vanhu muhupenyu hwedu vanotora akasiyana materu akakosha.
Aya materu ese akavakirwa padhuze nepadhuze padhuze: kubatana kwatinoita tinonzwa kune mumwe munhu pamanzwiro epamoyo.
Uye izvi zvinotidzosera kune kwedu kwekutanga chirevo chekuti nhamba chaiyo yeshamwari ndiyo nhamba yaunonzwa kugutsikana nayo.
peyton royce uye billie kay
Unoda shamwari dzakawanda sezvazvinodiwa kuti uzadzise zvaunoda pamoyo.
Kune vamwe, izvi zvinoreva vashoma vashoma vevanhu vakakosha uye nekupararira kweshamwari dzakanaka.
Vamwe vanogona kuwana vachida shamwari dzakawandisa kuti vape zvavanoda.
Chikamu chayo chinouya pasi kungoti iwe unonzwa padhuze sei kune chero munhu kupihwa.
Kana iwe newawakaroorana naye muri shamwari dzakanakisa, unogona kuvimba navo uye vanokupa rwakawanda rudo rwaunonzwa uchida, unogona kutamisa vamwe vanhu kubva pamatanho ako epamusoro kuenda mune yepasi.
Ndosaka vamwe vanhu ‘vachinyangarika’ kana vari muhukama. Vari kuwana zvakawanda zvekushushikana pamoyo newavakaroorana naye zvekuti vanozoita vashoma vanovimba neshamwari kana mhuri yavo kuzadzikisa izvo zvakafanana zvido.
Asi kana, kunyangwe uchivada zvakanyanya, iwe nemumwe wako musiri padhuze nepamoyo sezvamungade, munogona kushingairira kutsvaga kumwe kubatana kuti mupe icho chinodiwa.
Saka, kungo tyaira poindi yekumba kekupedzisira…
Hapana munhu anogona kukuudza kuti shamwari ngani dzaunoda.
Iwe haufanire kunzwa uchisungirwa kuita chaiyo nhamba yeshamwari.
Iwe chete unofanirwa kufunga nezvekugadzira iyo chaiyo nhamba yekubatana pane yega yega dzakasiyana nhanho dzekuswedera padhuze kuti unzwe kugutsikana uye kuzadzikiswa.
Matanho ako anogona kunge aine vanhu 2, 6, 15, uye makumi maviri.
Kana iwo anogona kunge aine mashanu, 12, 40, uye 110 vanhu.
Ose ari maviri akarurama, uye hapana chakaipa, ivo vanongomiririra vanhu vakasiyana.
Tsvaga yako yakasarudzika kuumbwa kwehukama matete - ndidzo shamwari zhinji dzaunoda.
Reka kunetseka nezvekuzadza chakati chikamu.
